What I Learned This Summer

I don't ever remember having to write a report about what I learned during the summer.  Maybe that's just in the movies.  You get my first attempt.

Around late spring/early summer, I was really discouraged with my kids' behavior.  It seemed all three were pushing my buttons and boundaries.  None of them were obeying the way I thought they should and I could not be consistent enough to get the results I wanted.

I turned to the all-knowing google.  Surely someone out there has had the same problem and will have the magic trick that I can put into practice and smooth out all the bumps in this rocky road.  I know, it sounds ridiculous to me too.  But I bet I'm not the only one who's done it.

One of the first hits was this article by Sally Clarkson.  It isn't a new article, but it was new to me.  It really made me think.  And do a parenting overhaul.

Somewhere along the way, I had adopted the first-time obedience mandate as biblical.  I didn't even think about it.  I didn't subject it to scripture.  I didn't pray about it.  The authors of the parenting books I read told me God wanted my children to obey right away, all the way, with a happy heart.  And if I consistently disciplined them, they would.  If they didn't, I was doing something wrong and I was endangering their souls.  I couldn't do it.  They didn't do it.  We were all horrible at it.  No wonder I was discouraged!

So the first thing I learned this summer was that I need to be much more careful about what I allow into my mind and into my parenting toolbox.  Sally's article reminded me that God's word is the best authority on parenting and I can take all of my frustrations to the real all-knowing Source who has power to actually help with my individual problem.  I knew this in my head, but I obviously had not practiced it.  I was shocked at myself and have tried to scrutinize my parenting to see what is biblical and what is manmade.  

I have also traded in parenting books for child development books.  I was referred to this series by Louise Bates Ames by three different sources in about two weeks, so I checked them out from my library.  Very refreshing and encouraging to read about characteristic behaviors at these ages and know that the thing I am battling really is "just a phase" and will likely subside in a few months or at least be easier to address.  

Sally's article also reminded me that righteousness is a life-long journey.  Talking it over with a dear friend, I said out loud what I couldn't seem to put into practice...if I can't get it right, why in the world would I expect my kids to?  It's time to surrender my unrealistic expectation that they will be "done" when they leave my nest.  God's plan for them may be to smooth out that rough edge through their spouse, an employer, a college roommate, their own children.  His is a process of sanctification, not a moment of completeness.  Parenting really is a marathon, and I probably will not witness my children cross the finish line.  They will still be running the good race after I am long gone.  This is so encouraging to me.  What a relief!  

God pricked my soul with a recent daily scripture reading.  I came across 1 John 4:18, "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."  I'm still working out how this applies to my parenting.  But I'm very grateful that God is perfecting me in love and not fear.  

Please go read the article.  Pray about it.  Subject it to scripture.  Tell me what you think.  And tell me, what did you learn this summer?

Isn't it Ironic?

Last winter/spring, we were sick a lot.  Every week, one of us had some kind of symptom that kept us from being wholly well.  I started thinking this summer about things we could do to avoid a repeat of that season.  I'm sure some of it is due to moving and adjusting to a new environment with new contagions and allergens.  Some of it is due to having a baby who put everything in his mouth and is too young to take most kinds of medicine.

But I thought it couldn't hurt to try to beef up our immune systems going into the fall/winter.  I researched supplements and started the kids on probiotics, along with a vitamin c/zinc combo.  I've even gotten J to succumb to the supplement slippery slope.  

I started hearing Alanis Morrisette singing in my ear on Friday, though, as I realized none of the above protected us from getting lice exactly one week after starting all my get-healthy endeavors.  Isn't it ironic?  Don't you think?

First Day of School

Before our house guests arrived, we had our first day of school.  I got our schoolroom all ready the night before with a fun new sign inspired by a Pinterest find.  I don't think I've ever shown you, loyal reader, our schoolroom.  Ta da...

That's my gumball sign.  We added gumballs with our ideas for making school enjoyable (i.e., being kind, waiting our turn, helping each other, listening, etc.).  I can't put much on my walls this year because Z enjoys ripping it all off too much.  Shouldn't every schoolroom have a baby gate, by the way?

These are my craigslist find cabinets.  J and my dad installed them earlier in the summer.  They are fabulous!!  J also installed our roof flashing turned magnet wall.  He's a handy guy.  I like the magnet wall because I can put independent supplies in a pencil pouch hanging from a hook on the wall.  The girls can get to them anytime.  I've also got a planning calendar up and my own notes for the week.  There's also lots of room for posting their creations and school work.

This is the other end of our schoolroom, but it's really more of a play area.  But I wanted to show off my map wall.  Strictly decorative purposes because the maps are from old National Geographics.  Again, I'll go lower with more maps when I know Z won't tear them off.

I told the girls we would be taking first day photos and I loved the results!  A asked to stay her in pj's all day, including for photos.  Then she took one photo and was done.  So very A.

C asked to put on her fanciest dress, wanted a headband and a bow, then wanted a portrait session for the next 20 minutes with silly faces, serious faces, good smiles, bad smiles.  Every bit C right now.

Getting lice the first week of school has definitely put a damper on things, but I'm so glad we homeschool!  We'll keep going, keep practicing our nice attitudes, getting down routines and figuring out realistic expectations.  Hope your year gets off to a smooth, sweet start!

House Guests

So it's always fun when a blog post generates comments, but when a post generates phone calls....!!  Wow!  The announcement of a foreign exchange student actually ranked a few phone calls!  Sweet!

When we decided to buy this big ol' house, one of the things we looked forward to doing was hosting an exchange student.  Because what better way to share the world with our kids than bringing it to our dinner table?  Sure beats traveling internationally with small children.  We have the space to share and just hope we are good representatives of our culture--both temporal and eternal.

We have been complete novices through this process and are learning as we go (like all parenting).  We chose an exchange agency because we had a friend of a friend who was a local advocate.  We chose our student because she is the oldest of several children in her home and we thought she would be comfortable in our chaos.  Other than that, it was a stab in the dark, and we couldn't be more pleased.

You'll be hearing more about H, our exchange student.  She'll be part of our family through the end of January-ish.  She's from northern Germany and is doing great with her English.  We are really impressed!  She'll turn 16 while she's here.  She arrived Thursday night after more than 24-hours en route.  We had great plans for the weekend, including taking a pic of her to introduce her to my huge readership, as well to show her around and maybe take in a local festival, but....

Friday morning we realized we had even more house guests than we thought.  I made the gruesome discovery that A and C had lice!  I wanted to crawl into the fetal position and deny my own existence for the next 48 hours.  Alas, that was not an option.  Our plans went down the drain and I began the overwhelming task ahead of me.

I started with a trip to the pharmacy for requisite tools.  Then, I made my first-ever trip through the Starbucks drive-thru for my own self-medication.  Chai latte has become my drug of choice and it helped me through the morning.  When I got home, I took each girl to the backyard and lopped off as much hair as I was comfortable with.  They both have decent little bobs now.  Then, I used that tiny little comb to go through A's thick, thick hair.  It took over an hour and a half.  C's was not so bad because her hair is so fine.

Then I gave the Cetaphil solution a try.  It was mid-afternoon by the time they were both "treated."  Next we bagged up all the stuffed animals, extra pillows and blankets.  I vacuumed, sterilized, and laundered for the rest of the day.  J came to the rescue by working from home and keeping Z out of the way.  So far, Z, J and I have been spared.  But just thinking about it makes my head light up with imaginary itches.

I'm going to say the Cetaphil trick was not particularly effective for A.  C seemed clear this morning, but A was still just as bad.  My own particular brand of torture is a contagious condition that keeps your children quarantined but at perfectly good energy levels, then re-occurs at weekly intervals for up to a month.  Yippy skippy.  Add to the equation one six-year-old with incredibly thick hair, a sensitive scalp, and a tendency to make mountains out of mole hills.  SuperMommy kryptonite trifecta!

J wanted to nail down where we had picked it up, but I knew that was futile.  Our best guess is the headphones at the library computer station.  A spent about 15 minutes trying the computer game in the kids' section.  C tried it too, but the headphones kept slipping off her head, so she didn't stay as long.  It could have been anywhere, honestly; we just don't know.  But you can rest assured, we will not ever use those headphones again.

I am so indebted to my sis-in-law, CA, who came to the rescue and whisked H away for a teenage girl shopping trip, dinner, and youth group study on Friday.  Then she came again tonight to take H to her first-ever baseball game.  Thank you, CA and R!!  You salvaged this weekend with flying colors!

A and C will stay home from church with me tomorrow and we will attempt to salvage Friday's schoolwork without Z in the mix.  Monday is a big day as we register H for high school and get a crash course in the public high school education system.

Enough rambling.  Stay tuned.  Our family motto really is "never a dull moment" and we strive to deliver.

Busy Thanks

Just so you know, this is what our week looks like:

• Sunday - church; signed up to volunteer in children's ministry each week; spent afternoon reclaiming house from atomic toy bomb that exploded during parent's weekend project (see below)
• Monday - first day of Kelley Academy (another post); just the fun stuff along with an orientation to our materials and expectations; library run
• Monday evening - orientation meeting for student exchange program (another post)
• Tuesday - more fun back-to-school stuff; our slow day this week
• Wednesday - meet and greet for A's one-day co-op program
• Thursday - first day of actual curriculum for school; church volunteer training in the evening; pick up exchange student at airport 
• Friday - school, and help the newest addition to our family get acclimated and rested and ready for her first day of school in a new country next Monday

Somewhere in there we need to repaint our living room, because we had a total paint debacle last Saturday and ended up with a giraffe print on our walls.  That may be an exaggeration, but we certainly can't leave it with the two-tone polka dots we inadvertently created between three cans of what was supposed to be same color of paint.

Oh, and in the background, I'm co-organizing my biannual family reunion for the first week of October; trying to figure out where we're going to do Awanas this year, and what class I want to help with that.  I'm hosting bunko in two weeks.  My parents are moving into our neighborhood the week after that, and we are thrilled to be helping with that transition.  I'm sure there are other things I'm forgetting, but God always brings them back to mind before it costs too much.

I think I might be certifiable, but instead I'm really excited about what's going on in our world this fall.  I'm excited about school, I feel ready and able to serve in ministries that I've been taking advantage of, we're going to broaden our cultural horizons at our own dinner table, the kids are at fun ages, Grandma and Grandpa are comin' to town!  We're in a really good place.  

Yes, there are stressful things going on, and the swirl of activity might make me a not-nice mommy every now and then, but Colossians 3:15 is vibrating underneath it all and I am thankful.  So thankful.

Back to Being Six

I had to interrupt the six-year-old birthday posts with the baby-brother-walking post.  It only seemed appropriate to not make that one wait a month.  But it's been the requisite month (or six weeks) since A's birthday, so I'm getting around to posting pics of it.

-Sidebar- I use blogging as a motivator.  I only let myself post if I feel like I have gotten done what I needed to get done in a certain day/week.  Only, I never get it all done.  Then the blog posts build up to a crescendo in my head and I can't shut up my own inner monologue and I finally give in and do a slew of posts and make something else wait.  That's why I'm always late on milestone posts.   -End sidebar-

We had a bit of a conundrum over A's birthday party theme this year.  She finally was enjoying swimming and decided she wanted a pool party.  But we don't have a pool.  And our neighborhood pool is too deep for her to enjoy.  Not to mention it's crazy expensive to rent a neighborhood pool!  We may have dropped enough hints, manhandled enough conversations, and eluded to enough happy things to convince her that she really wanted a party at our house with a readily-available-at-major-retailers theme.  So, My Little Pony it was!

It was really helpful that her favorite things right now are very simple...duck, duck, goose was her first game request.  Done!  We also pinned the tail on Pinkie Pie a few times.

We had at least a dozen too many cupcakes.  Mind you, they were frosted with each of the six main Ponies' colors.  

The girls were enamored with balloon animals and face painting at several events we went to over the summer.  So Daddy twisted a few balloons and cousin R stepped in to paint cutie-marks on hands.  Although, the boys got spiders and lightning bolts.

J is amazing at his powers of persuasion and imagination.  He spun his two-balloon-trick repertoire from dogs to ponies, then pegasuses (pegasi?) and even a baby dragon.  The kids were amazed!

"What?!" you say.  "You let small children run around your house with wet paint on their hands?!"  Why, yes, I did.  It was a small price to pay to get out of making a piñata, thank you very much.  And I used an old trick up my sleeve and had each masterpiece powered with baby powder when it was done to set it.  It dulled the paint, but since everyone's looked the same, none of the kids complained.  And I haven't found any smears on my walls (yet).

Happy Birthday, A!  May the wonder of you never cease.

Look Who's Walking!

It's been about ten days now since the video above.  He likes to do new tricks for daddy more than mommy, so of course he started walking the night I had bunko.  It only took him a few more days to start trying to stand up by himself.  But again, he still only does that when daddy is around.  After all, who needs to do it yourself, if your mom's around?

For anyone keeping track (namely myself), that will be A and Z who both started walking at 14 months; C at 15 months.  It's a whole new world!

This is the Face of a Six-Year-Old

You can tell she's six by that stinkin' cute gap in her smile.  Oh, and the fact that I can't get a non-silly-face picture.

It's also difficult to get a picture of one cutie-pie without the other.

 They do enjoy hamming it up for the camera.

 Not to be outdone by his sisters, ladies and gentleman, the show-stealer...