Goodbyes

Today we said goodbye to Peter Mr. Beta Fish.  It became apparent yesterday morning that he was not long for this world when I saw him just lying on the rocks at the bottom of his bowl using all of his energy to gulp big breaths.  I prepared A by letting her know that Peter didn't look well, that he might be sick.  She thought he probably just needed a break.  By late afternoon, I knew he was gone.  She kept coming back to check and see if he had moved.  This morning, she noted that he hadn't moved all night long.

So after naps today we discussed funeral plans.  She suggested putting him in the trash; I countered with flushing him to the ocean.  Really, I knew that we wanted to do a little burial.  As hard as it would be to talk it through, I knew it was a good opportunity to introduce death and temporary goodbyes.  J agreed, so we talked about Peter's body being empty now and how he was with Jesus in heaven (I know...we bent the theology a bit to make it applicable.  I figure we can straighten that out later.)  She colored a pretty picture and wrote "Peter" on it.  Daddy folded it into a little box and we tromped outside in the drizzle to lay Peter to rest.

It wasn't until Daddy was covering the hole that the tears came.  "But what about Peter?!" she bawled.  I immediately followed suit.  It's not the goodbye to the fish that got to me, but the goodbye to a little bit of her innocence.  This was a baby step into the harsh reality that the world is not all fairies, rainbows and ballerinas.  I was so sad to see her sadness.  I am glad that we persevered and took the opportunity to have a tough conversation.  And I don't think she'll be upset for very long.  She was asking for a new fish before we made it back inside.

And then there were five

Our girls were blessed with some Christmas cash and we gave A the option to pick out another toy or go to the pet store and buy a fish.  She didn't need much convincing at all.  Saturday, we went shopping for a fish and all its necessary accessories.

When we first walked into Petco, our super-sniffer-in-training was bombarded by ode de pet store.  "Why does it stink in here?" she asked.  "Because pets stink, love," was my matter-of-fact reply.  I got pinched by J who dreams of one day owning a dog.  I figure ode de pet store bought me at least six more dog-free months.

She picked out a red beta fish, just like Grandma's.  Grandma's beta fish is appropriately named Mr. Beta Fish.  When we asked A about naming her new fish, she came up with Peter.  I thought that was a pretty good name for a fish.  Then she finished...Peter Mr. Beta Fish.  We have to say the whole name every time.  Peter Mr. Beta Fish, Peter Mr. Beta Fish.  It's quite a tongue twister.  She's totally smitten, even kissed his bowl good night last night.  On the way home from the pet store, she proclaimed, "Now there are are five of us in our family!"  Welcome to the family, Peter Mr. Beta Fish.