I spend a lot of time and energy feeling guilty about the amount of time I spend or don't spend playing with my children. Is this normal? I've been thinking about generations of mommies before me and I don't think they spent a lot of time on the floor playing Polly Pockets. Will my children be healthier adults than their children?
I know in generations past, there was more labor involved in housekeeping. So kids were helping out from early on. I imagine their opportunities for pure play were farther apart and means of entertainment were much simpler.
Modern conveniences and technology now make the workload lighter, and psychologists tell us to let our kids be kids, playing is their job. And I hear it in their little voices, "Mommy, when can you play with me?" They crave the attention and I know it does wonders for our relationship.
Does anyone else obsess about this? Am I the only mommy who feels like I can never satiate her kids' desire for play time together? How much time do you spend in pure play with your kids? A few minutes here and there throughout the day, or a concentrated hour after supper? Not art projects or cooking together or reading books, but getting into their little made-up world, being who they want you to be.
Please leave a comment (click on the word "comments" below this post) or send me an email. I think it would be really interesting to see what "Mommy, play with me" looks like in other well-adjusted, healthy homes.
3 comments:
Sarah,
It's like you are in my head, I have had these exact thoughts and guilts and then thinking but not long ago there wasn't time for playing for mommies and not even much for the kids.
I'll just be honest, I spend very little time playing with my kids, I am with them all day to say, oh that's pretty honey, oh look at that! but I'm usually doing dishes, on the computer, cleaning, paying bills etc. while I watch them. Getting on the floor and being an active participant, maybe once a week. I feel guilty now! :)
On the other hand Kyle will get on the floor and really play with them most days when he gets home, I guess I don't realize that even though I'm always with them they might need more from me.
ps-I do get the emails if you reply to my comments, I think you asked me that once :)
Oh, I'm so glad I'm not alone! Thank you for your honesty! Please don't feel guilty. I'm trying to find what works for us and trying to listen to our needs instead of the pressure of pop psychology. I don't think daily active (happy) play is possible for me and I want to stop feeling guilty about it!
I play or try to play a little everyday. Some days we do but actually most days we don't pay together. That's why I had more babies so they could play with each other!
Actually I feel guilty about it sometimes, as I have a degree in early childhood and all, but truth be told, I don't actually like to sit and play tea party for hours on end. I'll get them started or set a timer so it sets a clear limit and gives me an out. Sometimes I say I have to do my chores first and them I can do xyz. I tell myself I am teaching them valuable skills on how to entertain yourself!
Jenny, daddy is the chief game player here too. But he's so good at it!
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