Guess What...

tee, hee....my ankles still exist...tee, hee, hee.

More Father's Day Gifts

C had two special gifts to share with her daddy this past weekend.  We tried to coordinate the day in such a way that he and I would both get naps, but we ended up fielding several interruptions during that part of the day.  He handled the big girls, while I kept Z happy.

On Saturday, he was roused from his almost-nap by C yelling that she had stinky pants.  This is an almost daily occurrence.  Something about being alone in her room during quiet time gets things moving.  He trudged in to change her diaper and discovered that for the first time in our parenting years, she had gone exploring in her diaper.  I don't think she liked what she found, because she had tried to clean it off on her shirt, belly, pants, and door.  It really could have been a lot worse, but J thought it was bad enough.

Then on Sunday, we tried again to finagle naps.  We even made the girls lay down to take naps.  C wasn't having it, though, so he gave in and let her do quiet time.  When he went to her room at the end of quiet time, he was shocked to see that she had been playing "splashpad" and had very thoroughly applied "sunscreen" to herself and her duplo blocks.  She had nearly emptied a tube of A+D diaper cream onto her face, arms, legs and every crevice of most of her duplo blocks.  Keep in mind that diaper cream is formulated to resist moisture.  I only washed one block, and that is tough stuff.  After googling "how to clean diaper cream out of carpet," and seeing the poor results most folks have, I decided not to waste my time.

Happy Father's Day, J!  Thanks for saving C from the wrath of Mommy.  If she pulls a stunt like those during the week, I can't promise I'll handle it with the grace you did.

Happy Father's Day!

We were a little preoccupied on the actual Father's Day, so I asked J to give me an extra week to coordinate a weekend of celebrating what a great man he is to our family.  He was happy to oblige, because he's a great man.

So Friday afternoon, we used our kidsbowlfree.com coupons to all go bowling.  If you haven't signed your kids up for this yet, you really should.  Every kid in your family under 12 gets 2 free games of bowling every weekday for the whole summer.  We signed up for the family pass on top of that and both of the grown-ups get 2 free games every day for the summer for the cost of one game.  (You still have to pay for shoes, which was $12 for the family at our local place.)  The girls had a blast!  They had a special ramp that you could push up to the foul line and let them push their ball down the ramp toward the pins.  It was perfect for C.  And A really enjoyed seeing "real" bowling instead of Wii bowling.  Z was a trooper and slept through almost all of it.

Saturday morning, the girls gave cards they had made to Daddy and we decorated with a banner and some balloons.  We made a pie that Daddy had raved about and had it for dessert at lunch.

For my gift to J, I had planned a surprise date.  One of our neighbors was kind enough to come watch all three kids and I tried to orchestrate the afternoon so that I could feed Z, run out the door, and be back in time for his next feeding.  J has been trying to get me to the gun range for a long time and I knew it would mean a lot to him if I finally caved and went.  I thought we would go to a nearby indoor range, so I arranged babysitting for middle of the afternoon.  Alas, I heard through the grapevine that the nearest range is no fun; we would have to go a little further out of town to what I learned was an outdoor range. This is how I say "I LOVE YOU!"

That's me, shooting a gun, outside, at 5:30 pm in the blazing heat.  (You can be doubly sure it's me 'cause I'm wearing a hat.)  File it away, because you won't see that again ever anytime soon.  I think J had a good time teaching me some really basic gun safety and introducing me to his latest hobby.  It was good to enter his world and see what fun looks like for him.  I have to admit, though, that I was surprised by my reaction to shooting.  It made me cry.  No kidding.  Granted I'm a postpartum hormonal mess, but I still wasn't expecting to tear up when I pulled the trigger. And no, it wasn't a happy cry.  Something very powerful about firing a gun.  I don't like the idea of being responsible for that action.  I don't want that kind of power in my hands.  But if we're going to have one in the house, I am at least grateful to know how to hold it and how to make it work if I need it. I can honestly say I'm not scared of it anymore, but I'm nowhere near comfortable with it.

We made it back home in time to feed the kids and get them in bed before a long night with a newborn.  Happy Father's Day, J!  I wish every kid had a dad like you who would play rough, talk soft, stand firm, and be crazy like you do with our kids.  You make me a better mommy and I thank our God for bringing us together and blessing us with three special kids who bring out the best in you.  I love you!

Look What I Can Do!

I am no longer pregnant!!  Ha-lle-lu-jah!!  This is not a new revelation.  I have been wallowing in the wonderful freedom of this truth every day for the last two weeks.  The first few days were discouraging, I admit.  I had high hopes for instantly feeling back to normal.  But labor and delivery is a major ordeal and with the emotional support of my strong, steady husband (read "letting me blubber and boo-hoo on his shoulder in random intervals"), I brought my expectations out of the stratosphere and tried to be patient.

Friday after Z was born, I did something to injure my neck that resulted in extremely painful headaches and very limited movement in my neck for almost a week.  That slammed me into a major wall.  The pain was getting worse instead of better.  Thanks to a combination of prayer, time, good drugs, and a couple of chiropractor visits, that pain has gone away and my neck is back to normal.

Sometime in the midst of that neck pain, I realized that I could lift my knees up to my waist.  This was monumental!  I hadn't been able to get my feet more than an inch or two off the floor during the last month of pregnancy.  I proudly walked into the living room where J was watching tv and announced, "Look what I can do!" as I high-kicked my way across the living room.  Glorious freedom of movement!  That silver lining in the thick of a black cloud was so satisfying and encouraging.  It helped me hang on to hope that recovery wouldn't take too much longer.

And it's not.  I think I'm mostly back to my pre-pregnancy self.  And that is a wonderful place to be!

Rough Day

Today was a rough day for our little man.  Two doctor's visits in one day.  This morning he had his frenulum cut so he would no longer be tongue-tied.  This was based on the recommendation of a lactation consultant that I saw last Friday.  We were still having a hard time getting a comfortable feeding, and she was 90% certain it was due to a tongue restriction.  The doctor agreed that it couldn't hurt to try, so we did that this morning.  As promised, it was quick and mostly painless.  He was mostly upset about the gloved fingers in his mouth and stopped crying as soon as he was in my arms again.  I'm happy to report that the results are almost instant...our feedings since have been much more comfortable!

Then, we just got back from his two-week well-check.  He already weighs 9 lbs., 6 oz.!  We checked his jaundice numbers again, but won't have the results until tomorrow.  I'll be very surprised if the numbers aren't down.  He is so alert, eating so well, gaining weight....surely his numbers will be down.  He was worn out after all the attention and is sleeping it off in his car seat.

He is a really good baby.  So mellow and easy-going.  He's been sleeping good, rousing himself at decent intervals to eat, staying alert for good chunks of the day.  I think today's appointments are sort of the last on my list of hurdles to get over as we pursue a new normal.  Can't believe it's already been two weeks, but I also have to remind myself that it's only been two weeks.  Gotta keep those expectations realistic and ride the unpredictable waves of life with a newborn.

Smitten

I think the pictures speak for themselves, but just in case you couldn't tell...the girls are over the moon in love with their baby brother.  He's been smothered with kisses, held several times a day (after fighting over whose turn it is first), been introduced to lots of toys, heard many lullabies, and been offered enough lovies and blankies to smother a small elephant.  They are absolutely smitten!

Introducing...

Zane Miller Kelley! 

Can you believe we finally named our son?!  We had tossed the Zane option months ago because I felt it was not quite in keeping with the traditional names of our daughters.  But when I asked J if he had any strong preferences, he said he still really liked Zane Miller.  I figured my misgivings were not strong enough to keep my man from naming his son what he wanted.

If you trust the baby name book, Zane is a variation of John, meaning God is gracious.  Miller was J's grandpa's name.  J has lots of fond memories of his grandpa and has been told on more than one occasion that he and his grandpa had a lot in common.  I wish I could have had the honor of meeting him.

In case you haven't heard, he was 8 lbs, 12 oz and 21" long!  That's a big baby! And he was in no hurry to greet the world.

I kept saying all day Tuesday during the delivery that I was so glad we had decided to induce.  I left the house  shortly before 7 am looking like this...

...and having made no progress in dilating since my last doctor's appointment.  I got started on pitocin at 8:30 am and the doctor came back at noon to find that I was still not making any progress.  If left to his own devices, this boy would've camped out in my womb for another month!  The doctor broke my water at 12:30 pm and that got things moving.  By 1:30 pm, I was getting the epidural and he arrived at 2:56 pm!

Even when being evicted, he put up a little resistance.  His shoulder got stuck against my pubic bone and I was given the medically-necessary pile driver to the gut by one of the nurses to help him rotate and get past that last hurdle. Fortunately, the epidural was successful and I was oblivious to any pain.

Praise God we both maintained great vitals through the entire delivery, the epidural lasted the hour I needed it to, and we arrived at a name before leaving the hospital!  I could not have asked for things to go any better than they did.  Thanks to all those who were praying; to God be the glory!

When I Am Not Pregnant

So tomorrow's the big day!  There's a bowl of ice cream calling my name and a good night's sleep that I'm hoping to get, but I have one more pregnant post rolling around in my head and I have to get it out.

I've been privileged to know a few people who handle constant pain or illness with grace that points to our Almighty God.  No complaining, no whining; you'd never know they managed chronic pain without hope of relief.  I've had a rough pregnancy and it's taken a toll on my body, but I've always known it wouldn't last forever.  And the hope of getting my body back helps me tolerate the daily aches and pains (though not with much grace at all).

So this is another note-to-self post...all the things I've been looking forward to and don't want to take for granted when I am not pregnant.

When I am not pregnant, I will tie my shoes without sitting down and eventually, perhaps without bending my knees.  I will enjoy the feeling of my toes wiggling free in my shoes without the squeeze of compression hose.  I will sit on the floor and play with my children cheerfully because my blood will continue to circulate to my extremities, and the only noise I will make when it is time to get up will be a shout of praise because I didn't require a piece of furniture to hold on to.

When I am not pregnant, I will sit in any chair available without regard for the density of its cushion or the depth of its seat.  I will spring out of said chair without using my hands, nor will I be pushed or pulled by anyone else.  I will not unwillingly expose my lower abdomen to total strangers because my pants will stay where I put them.  I will be grateful for every night of sleep that is interrupted only once by my bladder.  I will sleep without a pillow between me and my husband.

When I am not pregnant, I will chase my children and race down the driveway with them.  I will give them piggyback rides, teach them how to jump rope, and go on bike rides with them.  We will go for walks, stop and explore, crouching on the ground to investigate a bug.  We will go to the swimming pool.  I will hold them all on my lap at the same time.  I will not get angry when little elbows come in contact with my belly button.

When I am not pregnant, I will stretch and bend my body in graceful, fluid motions that demonstrate its strength.  I will exercise my body and tune it to be nimble, flexible, strong and healthy.  I have been blessed with the opportunity for relief from the aches and pains and I will not take that for granted.  I do not like being limited by my body's weakness and will be responsible with the amazing gift of health I have been given.

I feel better getting that out of my head.  Here's to a good night's sleep, an early morning, not being pregnant tomorrow, and getting to meet our son.

Limbo

I don't do well with limbo.  Not the game, though I'm sure I would be great entertainment if I tried to play that in my current condition.  I'm talking about the in-between times, the transition periods, when you know something else is coming but it's not time for that something yet.  Usually, you don't know how long the limbo is going to last and that makes it more difficult.  Now that I know when my current limbo is going to end, I think my sanity has returned a smidge and I have the capacity to mull these things over in my mind.  It doesn't hurt that J took the girls out of town for a cousin's birthday party the last two days.  A quiet house always helps to clear my head.

God has held me in limbo on a few occasions, and I'm sad to say that I don't think I'm getting any better at it.  Something about indefinite waiting makes me very myopic and self-focused.  I know in my head there are good strategies for shifting my perspective, but in the limbo, it's almost impossible to remember them much less implement them.  So in a brief moment of clarity, I'm going to record them here.  Somebody please remind me to read my own post the next time I'm whining about waiting.

Weapons against whining while waiting:

1. Scripture!  Post it at the kitchen sink, bathroom mirror, car dashboard.  Listen to it in music.  Read it, especially when you don't feel like it.
2. Prayer!  Be humble and vulnerable and ask other people to pray for a right perspective.
3. Overestimate the finish line - pad your expectations to buffer disappointment.  Think you'll be waiting 3 months?  Set your sights on 4.  Under-promise, over-deliver.
4. Ask for help - again with the humility
5. Shift focus - look around and see who you can help; surprise others with unexpected blessings; make yourself do something completely not about you
6. Tackle a project - I thrive on productivity, so it helps me to be getting things done
7. Just keep swimming - one foot in front of the other, grateful for the capacity to move through life, doing what needs to be done, even when you want to wallow in self-pity
8. Hide the chocolate - don't give yourself unlimited access; let your husband ration it out in appropriate portions.  Just an idea; I wouldn't know from experience or anything.

Any other strategies that work for you?  How do you survive limbo?  How do you glorify God while waiting?  Tell me now, because I know my next season of waiting is just around the corner.

The End is Nigh

As I watched my own imaginary due date come and go last week, and now the due date the ultrasound pegged, it is with great relief that I look forward to next Tuesday.  We've decided that if this little guy doesn't come before then, we will induce on Tuesday morning (June 7).  My doctor maintained that June 9 was the due date all along, but I have been in total denial.  He has four more days to debut on his own terms, then we're going to get this show on the road.

I feel like I'm giving up on my goal of not inducing, but everything is up for re-negotiation at 39 weeks pregnant.  I have obviously done a great job of keeping up with the fluid levels and keeping him nice and comfy and healthy.  He is in no hurry to do anything but make my belly bigger.  And pain and discomfort make it easier to swallow compromise.

Now that it's on the calendar, I'm going to shift my prayers to a healthy delivery.  Will you pray with me that we get just right the balance of pain relief?  Enough to last through the whole delivery, but not so much to cause blood pressure problems for me or baby.  Oh, and pray we pick the right name, too.

No News

Another doctor's appointment...same song, same verse...no exciting progress, but baby is healthy and strong.  I'm 38 weeks and without medical necessity, my doc won't entertain the idea of inducing until 39 weeks.  I'm conflicted about inducing because that is what I've been trying to avoid this entire pregnancy.  Yet I am absolutely miserable and done!  Sure would be nice if he would surprise us and show up on his own in the next few days.  Otherwise, he might start his life out by taking one for the team.