I've said for a long time that my four-year-old has the mouth of a teenager. The sass and backtalk that she reserves for her mother keep me awake at night, scared of the potential for venomous growth by the time she is 16. You don't believe me because she is all smiley and cute to everybody else. I know this is my payback for all those horrible things I said when I thought my mom couldn't hear. (I'm so, so sorry, Mom. But please, is there any way to make it stop?)
She has mastered the art of dramatic over-generalizations. For example, I will say, "Please put your shoes and socks on so we can leave." To which she will reply, "Okay. I'll put my shoes and socks on and never, ever play again for the rest of the year!" Or I'll suggest, "Don't lean into your sister's seat like that if you don't like her smacking you in the head." She will counter with, "Do you only always want me to sit up straight like a robot and never, ever move?!" (To which I will answer, "yes, please" which probably doesn't help.) Or how about, "You have lots of stuffed animals; there is no need to fight over that particular puppy dog." "Then I'll never have a turn, and she'll always have it and I'll never see it again ever!"
I kid you not. I have added no extra "never/ever/always/only" for effect. I really don't know where she is getting this, but more importantly, I don't know how to make it stop. It's constant throughout our day, so pervasive that her little sister has started mimicking her to make her angry, "never, ever," with scrunched up nose and forceful voice. I've started asking her if she is telling the truth, speaking with respect and love. She always answers no, but I don't know how long it's going to take to break this really nasty habit. And what kind of consequence do you give for dramatic sarcasm? Help, Lord Jesus, help!!
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