This time last year

Seems to be a reflective time of year.  Watching a baby's first birthday come hurtling towards you makes you think about the past year, too.  This time last year:

• I was great with child, emotionally and physically exhausted
  
• My husband was traveling for work one week a month, finishing his first semester of grad school, and putting the finishing touches on a backyard office building that he constructed "in his spare time"
• My sweet 2-year-old was still sleeping in her crib, in diapers
• We were new in town, desperate for connection, aching for the family and friends-that-had-become-family we had left behind

This time last year I was in the pit of despair.  I have never been so lonely, felt so isolated or alone.  It was my first move since we'd had kids and that made it an entirely different sort of beast.  Never mind the pregnancy hormones that took me captive and beat my brain to a pulp.  Add to that a small town that is fiercely prideful of its own traditions and cliques of adults who have walked the gauntlet of college life together.  I felt every bit of Psalm 69:2, "I sink in the miry depths, where there is no foothold.  I have come into the deep waters; the floods engulf me."  I cried out to God for mercy, knowing I had reached the end of my endurance.

This time last year, we called three different couples to invite them to our house for New Year's Eve.  We were turned down by the first two; but God had saved the best for last.  It was this time last year that He sent a sweet family to our house that we could not possibly have had more in common with.  We were encouraged, affirmed, and reassured.  It was also about this time that another mom in town called me out of the blue "just to see how you're doing."  I wept when I hung up because someone had thought of me.  This time last year I began to see the surface of the pit.

I praise God that this year I can say "He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand." (Psalm 40:2)  In the depths of my heart, I knew that He would.  I knew He would deliver me and that the pit would grow my heart closer to His.  But that is so hard to see when you're in the pit.  Note to self - when you're on the surface, enjoying the prosperity of life as usual, scan the perimeter every now and then.  New face in the crowd?  Say hello, invite them to lunch, call them to see how they're doing.  Especially if they're pregnant.

Thank you, God, for the pit.  Thank you for pulling me out of it.  Please keep my heart sensitive to the needs of those on the perimeter.  Help me to see others who might be experiencing the pit and use me as you will to love them.

Speechless

My sister recently sent me a link to a blog about a young lady (21 years old) who has gone to Uganda and taken in 13 children while helping as many others in the local villages as she is able.  Yes, 13 children. Single. 21 years old. in Africa.  This is not your usual mommy blog.  Read it if you dare: kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com.

I don't know what my response to this should be.  She seems to be a modern Mother Teresa.  Of course, I admire her faith, strength and capacity.  But what would God have me do with such information?  I don't know.  But I think about this girl almost every day.  When I start to complain about the laundry or dishes, I think "at least I have machines to do the grunt of the work for me, and clean water that comes straight to my house upon my command."  When I get in bed at night and fantasize about an electric blanket to warm the sheets before I get in, I think about Katie and suddenly I'm grateful to have sheets and a soft bed off the floor. 

Twelve Years

J and I had the immense blessing of being able to get away by ourselves for 24 hours to celebrate our twelfth wedding anniversary this past weekend.  While away, we reminisced about what we were doing to prepare for the wedding.  I'm sure I was vascilliating between giggling and crying with my closest friends as they helped me get dressed and direct the show from a back room.  He confided that two of his groomsmen were trying to convince him to drive to Mexico before it was too late, one was asking if he could ask me out if J did drive to Mexico, and one ever-present voice of reason in that motley group was telling them to leave him alone.  He assured me that he was never tempted to run, and I'm so glad he chose to stay. 

God is so wise, so compassionate, so merciful, tender and loving.  He demonstrated His character to me when He chose my husband and brought us together.  J brings out the best in me, makes me rise up to meet my potential.  He also knows me so well that he can provide rest for me before I even know I need it.  He challenges me to grow more like Christ and won't let me cling to the weaknesses of my flesh, no matter how proud I am of them.  He loves to give me good gifts and will give up his own desires to accommodate mine.  It thrills me to know that our marriage is not done growing.  We've grown into each other so well and God has been so good to us.  I love getting to know you, J, and I look forward to what God has in store for the years to come.

Annual State of the Family

For inquiring minds who have found their way here via our Christmas card, here's a recap of 2009 highlights to catch you up on our family.

J is finishing his third semester of grad school,  pursuing a PhD in Computer Science. He thrives in academia and is really looking forward to the opportunity to guest lecture in his advisor's classes next spring. He quit corporate life in July to pursue entrepreneurship. He is now CEO, chief cook and bottle washer of Phodder. He has two other guys working with him and business is good enough that they are considering hiring another full-time employee. God has been really good to provide for the first few months of being self-employed and we're looking forward to what He has in store for the next year as well.

A is 3 going on 13. We are doing a preschool homeschool curriculum together this year and she's really interested in the sounds that letters make and figuring out words. She never ceases to amaze us with her vocabulary. Browse around the blog a bit and you'll find her latest antics. We can't possibly play with her too often, watch her too much, or listen too closely to satiate her desire for grown-up interaction. Just this month, she has started making up her own songs and sometimes they even make sense. Some of the "firsts" she has experienced this year include staying in a hotel, going to a carnival, sleeping over at Grandma's, Disney Live, swimming lessons, flying a kite, riding a bus, swinging by herself, and last but not least, being a big sister.

C is weeks away from being one. I just did a pretty thorough post for her 11-month birthday, so I won't repeat too much here. Suffice it to say, she's a whole lotta cute.

And me? Well, I keep all of the above humming. This year, I've made time to start a new bunko group and I'm also coordinating a playgroup for our class at church. We attend a small group Bible study as a family and I also attend a weekly ladies' Bible study. Those activities definitely spackle together the loose edges that seem to unravel after a day's worth of domesticity. Oh, and I've started blogging. If you'd like to keep up with us all year, you can subscribe to the blog and have posts sent to your email.

Your turn...I'd love to hear from you, especially if we haven't seen each other in a while. You can leave a comment below this post or jot me an email (my address hasn't changed). God has been so good to us, blessing us more than we could ever ask or imagine with incredible relationships along our life journey. Hearing from you provides a wonderful opportunity to praise Him for His faithfulness.

Merry Christmas! May 2010 bring you closer to the heart of Christ.

And that's the truth

There's so much to say, but I think it's best to let her stand on her own for this one.

11 Months

I remember when A was a newborn, other moms would tell me to savor every moment because it goes by so fast. My internal narrator would scream, "NO! It is crawling by in torturous, sleep-derived seconds!" Going from no babies to one baby was like moving to Mars--other worldy, wholly foreign, culture shock. Adding a second baby was not nearly as dramatic a change. For the most part, we knew what to expect and how to respond. Her little life merged into ours much more smoothly. Now I can echo the other moms' sentiment that those tender moments really do fly by and before you now it, the first year is almost gone. Today is C's 11-month birthday.

I had predicted that she would be walking by Christmas, but I think that was premature. She is crawling really fast, especially when she's heading for the roll of toilet paper. That has got to be hands-down her favorite contraband. I was doing dishes the other day when A yelled at me, "Mom, I need your help." I finished up the dish I was on and dried my hands before going to see what she needed. Baby girl had unrolled the entire roll of toilet paper and big sister was trying to get it all in the toilet. The closer I got, the faster C's little hands pulled. I could hear her speed up and start squealing. Ha! I just realized what we're getting her for Christmas...one of those free-standing toilet paper holders and a mega roll of Scott tissue! (I told J that idea and he said it would be even better if it would roll itself back up. Why doesn't someone make that as a toy?! You could market it to babies and cats. Brilliant!)

Less forbidden are the balls of baby socks that she loves to play with. She's been pretty grouchy lately when she gets up from her second nap, so I cuddle her and let her play in my lap until she's ready to ease into the afternoon. I handed her a couple of socks one time and she must have played in my lap for half an hour with those socks, hiding them in any little crevice she could find, stuffing them under her own leg, then pulling them right back out again. Socks are good friends right now. She really hasn't picked a lovey or stuffed animal to cling to. We've offered several, but can't tell that she really has any preference for them. She falls asleep sucking two fingers, but we seldom actually see her sucking on them. I don't think it's nearly as satiating for her as it is for A.

She's also pulling up and cruising around on furniture. She'll take a few wobbly steps with a push toy or holding on to a chair. But crawling is definitely the way to get around right now. She has three teeth, but that fourth one will be here any day. Still loves frozen peas, and she definitely thinks jar food is so last month. Dad did get her to eat some bananas by holding the jar up to her mouth like a cup. She slurped about half a jar that way. I tried not to watch. Wasn't quite as effective with the jar of carrots.

She's been in a screaming phase for the last few weeks and we are making progress toward curbing that means of communication. Progress, not perfection. We're trying to teach her the signs for "more," "juice" and "all done" since most of the screaming happens at meal times. J says she makes the sign for "milk" for him, but I've never seen it. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she understands "no mouth" and I'm actually really proud of her for obeying that instruction more often than not.

Where did 11 months go? Sweet baby girl, it is going too fast. Slow down--the toilet paper will always be there and it won't be long before you know how to open the door.

Really late

These pics are long overdue, sorry. We went to a carnival back in early November and A had a blast! It was one of those local, mall parking lot kind of carnivals, so I was leery at first, but I'm so glad we were brave together and went. We scoped out all of the rides first to determine which ones she really wanted to do (and how much we were going to have to pay). Can I just say that the price of a carnival ride has outpaced normal inflation?! It was $5 to ride the ferris wheel! Per person!! We saved that for our big finale. We started with the little boat ride...














That's the face of pure joy, my friends. She was thrilled just sitting in the boat and moving the steering wheel, but then it started up and went around in circles...in the water. Need I say more?

She also wanted to ride the dragon roller coaster, which I thought was a little ambitious, but I didn't want to squelch her enthusiasm. I was right. But we look like we're having fun.














C felt the same way about that ride that I did; she just didn't have to fake being brave because nobody was sitting next to her.














J got in on the action with the spinning elephants. He assured me that she was giddy about being thrown against the wall of the elephant by the centrifugal force.














We moved on to the little flying airplanes. Because what mother doesn't dream of soaring above the crowds on a glorified merry-go-round with her knees digging into the dash and a frayed rope to hold her in?














And finally, the ferris wheel, which we both agreed was the landslide favorite. You'll have to take our word for it that we're up there.

Sort of, kind of an outdoorsy moment

A has seen several shows recently about camping out, including one with marshmallows roasted over a fire. She's been clamoring to camp out in the backyard so she could participate in said marshmallows. J pitched his tent in the backyard before it got too cold and they played card games until the mosquitos started dealing themselves in. But she wasn't really keen on the idea of sleeping out there. I wasn't either; never been one for sleeping out of doors. I have a lovely Stearns & Foster king-size pillow top that welcomes me to slumber each night. Why would I forsake that kind of hospitality?

At any rate, we certainly wouldn't be making a fire in our backyard. So, we did the next best thing:

I'm happy to report that indoor s'mores are quite yummy. C agrees; she nearly took off my finger tip trying to clean off the sticky marshmallow.

Huge compromise for my manly man. Perhaps one day God will answer his prayers and I'll wake up believing that days on end without proper plumbing is actually relaxing. The title of that post shall read, "The prayers of a righteous man availeth much."

I'm not

My children are asleep and I am typing a blog post. I am revolting against all things productive for the next ten minutes. I am not:

• Editing my Christmas card list
• Addressing Christmas cards
• Preparing teacher gifts
• Finishing our tree decorations
• Cleaning my house for playgroup
• Paying bills
• Reviewing our budget
• Planning preschool curriculum for next week
• Christmas shopping
• Organizing my gift list for the 19th time
  
• Making edible gifts for friends and neighbors
• Making other gifts
• Emailing my sister about Christmas lunch

I am also not zoned out on the couch watching mindless television. So I guess this is somehow productive in a very cathartic sense. Perhaps my dreams will not be filled with the administrivia of this list tonight. Only if I shove a little HGTV on top of it to keep it all quiet.

Knock, knock

Look out, we have entered the phase of "I think my jokes are hilarious and I'm going to tell you lots of them." J is totally responsible for this one. He told her the chicken crossing the road joke the other day and I haven't heard the end of it.

A: "Hey Mom, why did the chicken cross the road?"
me: "I don't know, why?"
A: "Because the other side was there! Ha, ha, ha."
A: "Hey Mom, why did the chicken cross the road?"
me: "I don't know, why?"
A: "Because the boat was too full! Ha, ha, ha."

You get the torturous idea. Totally non-sequitur, totally not funny. Then I decided to step it up a notch and teach her knock-knock jokes. No, I don't know what I was thinking, why do you ask? It only took about half an hour to get the format down right.

A: "Knock, knock. Who's there?"
me : "No, you say 'knock, knock' and then I'll say 'who's there?'"
A: "Oh, okay. Knock, knock. Who's there?"
me: "I don't know because you're the one who knocked."
A: "Who's I don't know?"
me: "No, you say 'I don't know who?'"
A: "No, now it's your turn to say 'Knock, knock. Who's there?'"

We did eventually get it right, but that doesn't mean the jokes are funny. Ready? Knock, knock. Who's there? Annie. Annie who? Annie body wanna listen a 3-year-old's bad jokes? (Hey, don't blame me, you're the one who answered the door.)

Smellin' Coffee

We were all in the car recently and A was in rare form as a comedic genius. She loves to make us laugh. We try to be careful at what we laugh at because we know she'll beat that horse into the ground if we laugh at it. This particular night, though, she had us rolling. Most of these are probably "had to be there" moments, but I'm sharing them anyway because I was there and I will always giggle when reminded of them.

She started our little trip with a game of "I Spy." She took a turn spying something, whereupon it is customary for Mommy to take a turn. Not so this time. I was informed that it was C's turn. Then we heard a squeaky little high-pitched "baby" voice come out of the back seat in A's general direction. "I spy with my little eye something red." Then change back to her normal voice, "Oh, is it the stop light?" Never falling out of character, she flipped back to C's voice, "Why, yes, it is! Good guessing." And the follow-through with good manners, "Thank you, C. Now it's Mommy's turn." I know...you had to be there. You'll just have to take my word for it that her ventriloquism routine was hilarious.

We tried not to laugh at her rendition of the Larry Boy theme song, but it was complete with falsetto echos. It did cease to be funny after the 209th round of it. Which reinforces my earlier statement about being careful what you laugh at.

On our way home, we all piled in the car and had barely closed the doors when I noticed an interesting aroma slithering amongst us. My mouth was open to make a remark when A piped up, "WHAT is that smell?!" Life experience had already acquainted me with the smell of J's caramel macchiato grande venti upside down latte or whatever doctored coffee it was. And I have slowly learned to temper my opinion that not all humans appreciate the aroma of fresh-brewed coffee. But A is still learning. She may as well have been me five years ago, lamenting the recirculated air that she was forced to inhale, tasting that smell with every breath. It was stinkin' hilarious. J just looked at me as if I was somehow responsible for her anti-coffee indoctrination. I started laughing, which made her laugh and then we both laughed together as Daddy actually drank the stuff making that smell. It's nice to have another super-sniffer in the family, especially if she's going to take my side on the coffee debate.